Strange Things | Holy Crap!

Holy Crap!

erratic_prophet | 18 September, 2006 12:24

I thought that an apt title since those are the words that have been so frequently falling from my lips. I've been a busy little monkey lately. I've been: getting the kids ready for school, helping new hires at work, bracing myself for the upcoming holiday onslaught, and fending off well-meaning cupids. I haven't had a chance to breathe!

The kids started school a little while ago. I was fretting-- as I do every year-- because the school likes to tell us which teachers the kids will be having at the very last second. I got the letters maybe a week before classes were to start. Then I got a call the day before, letting me know that they decided to change them last minute.

The school is very involved with whom the kids can torture each year because they know they're difficult little demon spawn. But they like them because they are charming little demon spawn. This year, The Boy's teacher specifically requested him. The Girl's teacher was handpicked because she's used to dealing with highly strung little geniuses.

This year, they decided to channel The Girl's energy towards good instead of evil by placing her in the Gifted & Talented Program. They finally decided that even though she's difficult, she's too damn smart to be left idling. She's excited about this and is hoping that this will be the stepping stone to a life of fame and fortune. It disappointed her greatly-- but not enough to make her want to quit-- when I told her that the Gifted & Talented Program wouldn't make her famous, that it was just a group for smart kids and that she'd be involved with various projects and meets.

Speaking of plotting and planning, there seems to be a conspiracy to get me to date. I've had quite a few people-- mostly from work-- urge me to date. I find life much easier when I don't date and told them so. They did not find this to be a good or even valid excuse. I get the feeling that I'll be introduced to quite a few friends who "happened to drop by unexpectedly". God help me. Or them.

I did mention that I will not consider anyone with severe mental problems. Nothing against the chemically unbalanced but I've had my fill with you all. If I have to deal with another guy who hears voices, randomly attacks meat in a supermarket, or has "visions", I think I'll become a complete recluse. All I've ever wanted was a sane, nice, smart guy with a generous spirit and good taste in books, movies, and music and all I've ever gotten were the criminally insane dregs of society. So if anyone can find me what I'm looking for, fine, I guess I'll cave in, but until then I'll remain dateless.

Also at work, I was once again confused for a 20 year old. If this keeps happening, it might just start going to my head. I was told by one of the new hires I was helping to train that I was not only gorgeous, but couldn't possibly be the mother of two, my god, because mothers just don't look that good. Don't get your hopes up, a girl said that. A straight girl.

Also also at work, during a charity event, I met with DMC of Run DMC, otherwise known as Darryl McDaniels. Ok, so I didn't actually meet him. I saw him. I even stood barely two feet away from him. The only thing between us was a clothing rack. And I snapped an extremely bad, blurry pic or the back of his head. Because I'm a dork. Something I never knew about DMC: He's really, really tall. Like tall. And very broad shouldered. I'm amazed he fit in the building.

I also met an Elvis impersonator. Because I loves me some Elvis. So does my mom. This is what she had to say about him: "So I'm standing there by Elvis, kinda dancing around, and I look around and see all of these old ladies standing around, dancing and making googly eyes at Elvis and that's when it hit me. I'm old."

[Reply]

Dont'cha just love the "do gooders" who need to see you either dating or married! It's like its their mission in life to make it happen for you.

Michelle — 27 Sep 2006, 20:06

[Reply]

Michelle- I have only one ally at work who thinks that people just need to leave me alone and let me be a hermit if I choose. I adore her.

Erratic Prophet — 29 Sep 2006, 15:41

[Reply]

You know DMC was an adopted child and they had a documentary I saw which shows his search for his real family and how he met them and now he is actually like family with them...you know what I mean...
It was a very nice and touching story...made me like him even more... :)

Dee — 01 Oct 2006, 23:36